Niraj Zade   Home  Blog  Notes  Tools 

Own your email's domain

Date: 2023/02/12

This is a short but critical advice.

Look at all the services you use that depend on your email for identity and verification. How much damage can happen if you lose that email for a few weeks (or permanently)?

If you registered on enough online services using this email id, I bet you will be crippled immediately.

Understanding the system

Your email based communication has 2 components:

  1. The email id itself - The email id is the address against which email exchange happens. It is like an identity.
  2. The mailbox server - The mailbox is simply an email server that handles the incoming/outgoing email on behalf of the email id. It stores your email, sends email, filters spam etc.

Now, there are 3 levels of control in this system:

  • Level 1 - Don't own email address. Don't own mailbox server (provider)
  • Level 2 - Own email address. Don't own the mailbox server (provider)
  • Level 3 - Own email address. Own the mailbox server (provider)

Level 1 - Don't own email address. Don't own mailbox server (provider)

This is the default with which almost everyone starts. You go to one of the major email providers (gmail, hotmail, outlook etc) and register for a free email service.

Suppose you're using gmail. Your email id is [email protected]. Gmail is handling your email inbox.

In this case the owners are:

  1. Email id - Gmail (google)
  2. Mailbox - Gmail (google)

Here's some explanation:

To decide who owns the email id, just look at the domain. <email-address>@<domain>

Your email address is [email protected]. So the email address john is under the domain gmail.com. Google owns gmail.com. So, google also owns the john address.

Whoever owns the domain, owns the email address.

Whenever email is sent to/from [email protected], the email is handled by mail servers that are run by gmail (google). So, google also owns the mailbox.

What can you lose?

Suppose gmail decides to block you from using their services.

  1. Gmail owns the address [email protected]. So you lost access to your identity (the email address).
  2. Gmail owns the mailbox, so you lost access to your stored email.

So, you're screwed, as you retain nothing.

You didn't own anything. Gmail was simply lending you the email id and mailserver. So of course it can take it back if it feels like it. Ownership and reliability it is out of your control.

Level 2 - Own email address. Don't own the mailbox server (provider)

(This is what I am using)

Suppose you buy the domain john.com. Under the domain, you create an email id - [email protected].

You take this email address to gmail, and tell it to run a mail server to handle the email exchange occurring on this address.

In this case the owners are:

  1. Email id - You
  2. Mailbox - Gmail (google)

What can you lose?

Suppose in this case, gmail decides to block you from using its services.

In this case, your mailbox will stop working. But you own the email address. So you can take your email address [email protected], and just pay another mailbox provider to run the mail server for you. You are free to change the mailbox provider at any time.

There are a lot of providers who will gladly handle email for you - gmail, outlook, zoho, migadu, protonmail etc.

There are also niche email providers that communities host for themselves (eg - the email addresses you find in the linux or postgres mailing lists etc are run by community-run mailbox providers).

Level 3 - Own email address. Own the mailbox server (provider)

This is self-hosted email option

In this case, you buy the domain john.com. Create the email address [email protected]. Run your own email server, and tell it to handle all email on behalf of [email protected].

In this case the owners are:

  1. Email id - You
  2. Mailbox - You

What can you lose?

Nothing really.

Nobody can stop your email exchanges, as you own everything.

At max, the various email provider will collectively block email originating from your address. However, you email itself will never stop.

The point I'm trying to make

By default we all start at Level 1. For professional or even serious personal use, I want you to move up to Level 2.

It is not that expensive to run -

A domain will cost $10-13 per year. The mailbox service will cost $3-5 per month (I use google workspace. Their prices vary by country). In total, it'll cost $46 to $73 per year.

That's a cheap price to pay for control and peace of mind. You are paying for reliability of something that practically controls your entire digital presence.

I'm not asking you to go full level 3. I am asking you to go to level 2.

Doing level 3 properly needs expertise and time. Making sure your self-hosted email server's emails don't get blocked by the mailbox providers used by other people is very hard (the spam management system is how they control their market position. The game is rigged against you). Level 3 setup works best when the people you are communicating with are also using a level 3 setup.


So, it boils down to -

  1. Buy your own domain
  2. Create an email id under the domain
  3. Rent a mailbox provider to handle email on behalf of that email address

Always remember -

Whoever owns the domain, owns the email address